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  • Writer's pictureDani


Updated: Apr 13, 2022

It’s about believing in your choices and just saying fuck it, hold your head up high and pretend like you own the place.

Is confidence something we are born with or can we learn it? Confidence comes from the Latin word “fidere” which means to trust… so what is it that we are trusting when we have confidence. Usually confident people or confident decisions are made with a clear head and simple ‘knowing’ feeling that a choice or course of action is the most effective one. So when I’m competing in the arena, my best rounds have come at times when I trust in my abilities, I trust my preparation, I trust my plan and I trust my horse. Walking into the ring ‘knowing’ I can do it can be the difference between a stellar performance and a failed one. Of course failure isn’t the antithesis to confidence and sometimes results aren’t the only moniker of success but a confident round, or a state of feeling confident comes from an internal place of blind trust and belief. When I’m trying out a new style or funky accessory that I’ve never worn before I have to dig deep and decide if I trust in my personal taste. Sometimes I’m wrong and I walk around all day regretting it but I’ve learned to brush it off over the years because in the end, no one remembers what you wore that one time back in the day that didn’t quite work. In fact, I so often have people say things to me like, “I couldn’t wear that but you pull it off so well” or “wow, your attitude makes that outfit work.” The implication is often that they don’t really like the outfit but somehow my “attitude” about how I wear it makes it work.

Fake it till you make it!

So even on days where I’m not fully sure of my choices, I try to own it and at least give the appearance of confidence. It’s amazing how well the age old adage of “fake it till you make it” really works — it isn’t necessarily about getting it right, it’s about believing in that choice and just saying fuck it, hold your head up high and pretend like you own the place. Sooner or later you’ll start to realize that owning up to your choices builds an inner feeling of confidence. And the more you ‘own’ those so called mistakes or regrets the less the haters can mock you for it…what’s a bully to say when you admit fault right off the batt…you take the wind out of their sails when you say it first…and what’s a bully to do when you walk into a room wearing a giant tulle skirt and an enormous headpiece like you’re a celebrity??!! No one would dare tear you down when you give off the air of true self love and acceptance…that’s what confidence is and yes, it can be learned! Remember, if you look in the mirror in the morning and love what you are wearing, or walk into the competition arena and know you can kick everyone’s asses, chances are you look great and you can win so fucking act like it and I promise one day you will.

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